How To Be Happy At Work

How To Be Happy At Work by Annie McKee

This is the book that started my deep dive into emotional intelligence… and I’ll give you one guess as to why I read it. One of the things that I loved about this book was that it did so much to validate some of the feelings I was having, as well as invalidate all the typical crap people of the older generation say like, “Well, they call it work for a reason.”

It managed to get me to evaluate some of my values, how they relate to my career, and gave me the opportunity to identify further reading material to help me start my journey of increasing my emotional intelligence… and let me tell you, engineers don’t usually have much of it.

I don’t really think this book needs much of a summary since the title does a pretty good job of explaining what it’s about, but it is one of those books that I have post it flags and highlighter marks all over. So without much summary, let’s just dive into the passages that resonated with me.

Favorite Quotes

OK, so this quotes section is going to be super long and is basically going to be my condensing of this book down to be able to continue to revisit in the future… Here we go.

“Life really is too short to be unhappy at work.”

“A lot of us give up and settle for less than fulfilling jobs. We tell ourselves that we’re not supposed to be happy at work; that’s for other parts of life. We try to cope by avoiding that bad manager or getting that stubborn, annoying person off the team. We shut down, give less, and fantasize about telling someone off. Sometimes we run away from the job, the company, even our careers. But running away isn’t going to make things better. To be happy, I’ve discovered, you’ve got to run toward something: meaningful work; a hopeful, inspiring vision of the future; and good relationships with the people you work with every day.“

“What leads to long-lasting fulfillment at work? What leads to happiness? And can we even expect to be happy at work? Does it really matter?
To answer these questions, I reviewed my work on emotional intelligence and resonant leadership and revisited the dozens of studies I’ve done in companies worldwide. What I found is both simple and profound: Happiness matters at work as much as it does in our personal lives. And when we are happy, we are more successful… My conclusion: to be happy at work, we need purpose, hope, and friendships.“

“We are wired to seek meaning in everything we do. It’s what makes us human. In some cases, it’s what keeps us alive. In his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl shows that even in the worst of circumstances, purpose, hope and connection are what keep us going.“

“Hope, optimism, and a vision of a future that is better than today help us rise above trials and deal with setbacks… Unfortunately, we often assume that our organization’s vision is enough to keep us hopeful and focused on the future. I’ve rarely seen this to be the case. An organization’s vision, however inspiring, is for the organization – not you… To be truly happy at work, we need to see how our workplace responsibilities and opportunities fit with a personal vision of our future. This kind of vision is vitally tied to hope and optimism, which we can with focus and hard work, cultivate even in difficult jobs and toxic workplaces. When we see our jobs through a positive lens, and when a personal vision is front and center in our minds, we are more likely to learn from challenges and even failures, rather than be destroyed by them.”

“Resonant relationships are at the heart of collective success in our companies. That’s because strong, trusting, authentic relationships form the basis for great collaboration and collective success. But I’ve found, we need more than trust and authenticity to get us through good times and bad. We need to feel that people care about us and we want to care for them in return.”

“We’ve known for years that emotional intelligence (EI) is key to being effective at work. The more EI you have, the better you (likely) are at your job – no matter what kind of role you have or how senior you are… In practical terms, EI is a set of competencies that enables you to understand your own and others’ feelings, and then use this knowledge to act in ways that support your own and others’ effectiveness… Here’s a secret about EI: it’s a virtuous circle. The more you use it, the better you get.”

“Happiness at work is a choice. When you decide to look within yourself to connect with what’s most important to you, what makes you feel hopeful about the future, and what you long for in your relationships, you are taking that first, all-important step toward a work life that is deeply satisfying, challenging, and fun.“

“(When we are unhappy at work) Time away from our jobs (if there is such a thing) is affected, too, because we don’t leave our feelings at the office and unhappiness seeps into the rest of life. Our families and friends suffer when we are disengaged, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled. Worse, slow-burning stress, anger, and other negative emotions can literally kill us.
Destructive emotions like fear and constant frustration interfere with reasoning, adaptability, and resilience. We just can’t focus when we’re gripped by negativity or when we’re obsessing about how to protect ourselves (or get back at our boss).”

“She fostered a “we’re in this together” mindset that made people feel they belonged to an important group, one with a resonant microculture marked by excitement, enthusiasm, safety, and trust – the kind of environment where people can take big risks and have fun without the fear of losing their jobs.”

“But Candace had what Ari had lost: clarity about the value of her work, an inspiring vision of the future, and resonant relationships… With dedicated effort, Ari found his way, and he did not quit his job. The first step was accepting that he deserved to be happy at work (for some of us, this is a big step). Then, he focused on recapturing what was most important to him in life and learning how to bring it back to work.”

“I define happiness at work as a deep and abiding enjoyment of daily activities fueled by passion for a meaningful purpose, a hopeful view of the future, and true friendships... Happiness is not simply about feeling good in the moment. That is hedonism.”

“…What we’ve found is that positive emotions – like those we experience when we are happy – support individual and collective success… Most of us intuitively know that feelings and inner experiences like eagerness, enjoyment, optimism, belonging, and confidence fuel our energy and creativity.”

“The business case: happiness before success: A common myth tells us that once we achieve success, we’ll be happy. If this were true, all successful people would be happy. They are not… The belief that we will be happy once we become successful is backward. It all starts with happiness because happiness breeds resonance and resonance breeds success. Scholars agree, starting with the popular author and psychologist Shawn Achor, who says it in a straightforward, no-nonsense manner: “Happiness comes before success.” This statement is based on studies showing that when we are positive, we are 31 percent more productive and 40 percent more likely to receive a promotion, we have 23 percent fewer health-related effects from stress, and our creativity rates triple… “when we find and create happiness in our work, we show increased intelligence, creativity, and energy, improving nearly every single business and educational outcome”… So, if we sacrifice happiness, we sacrifice success.”

Happiness Traps

“I’ve always wondered why we don’t fight back – why we settle for so little happiness at work… First, we’ve bought into old myths about the meaning of work and what we can expect from it (or not). Namely, we believe that work isn’t supposed to be fun or fulfilling, and that we don’t have to like the people we work with. Instead, we’re there to follow orders and produce results. Our values, hopes, and dreams have a very small place in this picture.
Second, most of us have stumbled into happiness traps – mindsets and habitual ways of approaching work and career that keep us stuck on a hamster wheel and pursuing the wrong goals.
Third – and this is the good news – there’s something we can do to break free from these old myths and dangerous traps: develop and use our emotional intelligence.”

“Only one-third of US employees are engaged at work. The rest are either neutral or actively engaged.”

“Myth one: Work has to be grueling.
Myth two: How we feel at work doesn’t matter.
– By the middle of the last century, there was a vast body of knowledge showing that how we feel about our bosses, work, and workplaces affects our contributions and outcomes.
Myth three: we can’t ask for more of work.”

“But when we ask for more, well-meaning friends and family tell us to check our unrealistic expectations and pull out old sayings like, “that’s why they call it work.” Or, when we complain about not being trusted to make decisions or being asked to do things that are counter to our values, people say, “Stop making trouble. Be grateful you even have a job. Do what you’re told and you’ll be fine.”
In the end, far too many of us accept the notion that work is not where we can be fully human, not where we can realize our potential or our dreams. We pursue goals that don’t jive with our values or our own hopes for the future. We accept being treated as “doers”, not people.”

“But, organizations aren’t filled with mindless automatons that live for the privilege of serving the god of profit; they never were. And as the knowledge revolution takes the world by storm, more rand more of us think for a living, rather than make for a living, even in manufacturing. We need our brains to work at their best, and in order for that to happen we need physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being.
We need to replace outdated beliefs with new ways of understand what we can expect from work – and from each other. To start with, we need to create workplaces that honor our humanity and foster common decency, camaraderie, mutual respect, and sustainable success.”

“The overwork trap: We spend every waking moment doing something – checking our email, talking, dashing off a text. We’re always behind, running as fast as we can to catch up… We live in a world where overwork is overvalued… As Harvard Business Review’s Sarah Green Carmichael writes, “we log too many hours because of a mix of inner drivers, like ambition, machismo, greed, anxiety, guilt, enjoyment, pride, the pull of short-term rewards, a desire to prove we’re important, or an overdeveloped sense of duty.” Sometimes, too, work is an escape. When our jobs are less stressful than home, work becomes a “haven, a place to feel confident and in control.” Regardless of the reason, overwork has become so prevalent that “busy” is the most common answer I get when I ask people how they are doing… The first step out of the overwork trap is to try to figure out why you are working s much. Is it because you really have to? Or is t a habit? Or is something deeper going on, like trying to escape your home life or prove your importance?”

“The money trap: Money is great. Until our desire for it overshadows reason… How many of us have stayed in jobs that we hate because the money was good? Or taken a promotion that we didn’t want or weren’t suited for because it came with a raise?… There’s something deeper going on: the decision to choose money over happiness is fueled by insecurity, social comparison, and the need to display one’s power for all to see… Insecurity also comes from the belief that we aren’t good enough. We suffer from the imposter syndrome and are terrified that people will find out. Money, we think, will fool them into believing we are deserving of our success… When we feel we must have money and the power that goes with it, that we must display our wealth for others to see, then we’ve crossed into dangerous territory. At this point, we make decisions to choose emptiness over happiness at work – just to get more cash.”

“The ambition trap: This trap is linked to something we usually think of as good: ambition. But, when our ambition is coupled with an overdeveloped focus on competition and winning, we can find ourselves in trouble… some people put their own personal ambition above morals, ethics and reason. They’re blinded by their desire to win and will do just about anything to come out on top… But winning is downright destructive when other people get hurt, when it becomes the most important goal, when you’re willing to sacrifice anything to achieve your goal and to hell with the costs and consequences.
First, success isn’t really success when we define it as a win-lose, zero-sum game. Second, hyper-competitiveness in the workplace leaves us empty and unfulfilled, hurts our ability to lead effectively, and makes us no fun to be around.”

“The “should” trap: The next happiness trap is a big one, one all of us face at some point in our careers: doing something simply because we should, rather than because we truly want to… But, some of the cultural rules that guide us at work are outdated and destructive, especially those that limit or constrain our dreams…. Workplace “shoulds” are such powerful drivers of our beliefs and behaviors that we often go along with rules that make no sense. Social rules and “shoulds” are a fact of life. It’s not about getting rid of them; it’s about sorting through them and making conscious choices about which to follow – those that enable you to live your values, reach your potential, and be happy… This belief that we can make things happen is critical to happiness. Without it, you fall into the last trap: helplessness.”

“The helplessness trap: Some people truly believe that no matter how hard they try, they can’t influence the world around them, change things, or get what they want.”

Breaking free of the traps

“Why, we need to ask ourselves, do we work all the time? Why are we so seduced by money and power? Is our ambition and desire to win serving us or hurting us? Why are we so trapped by what we feel we should do rather than pursuing what we want to do? And why do we sometimes give up on being happy at all? To answer these questions, we need to return to emotional intelligence.”

“If we are to combat these outdated myths and happiness traps and take control of our own happiness… we need more than a modicum of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to understand one’s own and others’ emotions and deal with them in a way that leads to resonance in relationships as well as individual and collective success. There are twelve emotional intelligence competencies…”

“Emotional self-awareness: Avoiding the happiness traps starts with emotional self-awareness. You must tune in to those faint whispers in your mind, those almost imperceptible feelings of “something’s not right.””

“Self-management: Emotional self-control helps us stay tuned in to our feelings, even when we don’t like what we discover… Once you know what’s driving you, self-management helps you shift your attention. This subtle but powerful internal change supports willpower, focus, and courage – all of which you need to do the hard work of breaking free.”

“Social awareness and relationship management: When you focus on empathizing with people and understanding your organizational environment, you can see what is coming from inside you, and what’s coming from others or your company. With this knowledge, you are better equipped to make choices about what you will or will not accept at work.”

The power of purpose

“Purpose and work go hand in hand… When work is an expression of our values and we have positive impact on something we care about, we are motivated from within; we don’t need others to push us or beg us to do our jobs, and we can withstand challenge and turmoil. ”

“Today, our organizations are our tribes. Work is still where we express ourselves and make a difference… But work and life are no longer seen as vitally intertwined. Rather, we see our jobs as a means to an end, a way to earn money so we can have meaningful lives outside of work… The result, as management scholars Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton tell us, is that “many companies do not worry that much about providing meaning and fulfillment to their people. Work is, after all, a four letter word.” But it’s impossible to pull life and work apart. We are meaning making creatures, no matter if we’re sitting in an office, giving tours of historical places, hiking Mount Kilimanjaro, or eating dinner with our family. We don’t give up the essential human need to do something worthwhile when we start our workday. We want to know that we’re doing something that matters.
Seeing our work as an expression of cherished values and as a way to make a contribution is the foundation of well-being, happiness, and our ongoing success. Passion for a cause fuels energy, intelligence, and creativity. And, when we see that the results of our labor will benefit ourselves and others, we want to “fight the good fight” together.”

Is your work a job, a career, or a calling?

“When we see our work as just a job, we’re focused on what we get for our labor – a paycheck and other tangible benefits like insurance… seeing work as just a job can be soul-destroying… We tell ourselves that the money’s worth it, but we feel empty.”

“We might, instead, see our work as a career. Our job is then linked to a bigger picture, often advancement in a profession or a company. We see our current role as an important step toward a destination. For example, we may see ourselves having significant impact on a field or rising in an organization we care about. This can be fun and exciting and can fulfill the need for a guiding purpose at work, presumably because our career is linked to our values. This can and often does make us happy. However, people who view work as a career are often largely motivated by things like prestige or upward mobility… but a singular focus on external recognition and rewards can make day to day work feel like a means to an end. We can find ourselves constantly seeking the next goal or prize, but each time we get that job, bonus, or raise, our ambition kicks in and we turn our attention to the next win.
When we view our work as a career, we should ask ourselves, “to what end?” If the answer is only to advance or progress, something vital is probably missing.”

“When we experience our work as a calling, our efforts are not simply the means to an end, and we’re not just jumping from one goal to the next. Instead, what we do every single day brings deep satisfaction. Even simple activities are seen as important, fulfilling, and meaningful. When work is a calling, our passion motivates us from the inside out… It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that if we are to experience our work as a calling we’ve got to understand which values matter to us and the act on these values to have positive impact.“

“In an attempt to keep up with continuous change, some leaders focus so intensely on business objectives that they bulldoze through people, crushing everything in their path… Josh was under pressure to move fast. But, rather than shifting into execution mode, he decided to invest time in understanding what people – wherever they sat in the organization – found fulfilling in their current ways of working and what got in their way… The more time I spent talking and listening to them about those elements rather than just about business issues, the more appreciation I had for their perspectives and the more ideas I had about how I could help. If you give people space, they’ll find the solutions themselves. They’ll understand how what they do every day has some purpose: to help the company, the customer, and society.”… His role was to create space for people to identify that purpose for themselves to help them feel heard, and to remove any obstacles that got in their way. This may sound like common sense, but frankly, in my experience, very few managers do this as well as they might. This is often because of a perceived lack of time or pressure from above to move fast.”

“Motivation that comes from inside us is a far more potent force than any carrot or stick used by our boss or the company… Studies show that people actually become less interested in tasks when they are externally rewarded… Real rewards, the kind that help us sustain commitment, engagement, and happiness, come from within us.”

Ok, at this point you may begin to realize that I’ve highlighted basically every other paragraph in this book, which I guess just goes to speak to how well I felt like I related to this book when I read it. Continuing on…

“To be happyat work, we need to make a difference. We need to be consciously attending to and enacting what we find to be inherently worthwhile – our values and beliefs… they’re often very private because they are derived from our upbringing and the culture of our families and communities… we are better off if we can find a way to incorporate what we care about into our day-to-day work.”

“Sometimes our values don’t align with our organization’s values, so we have to make a calculation about which values we can bring – and which we can’t… the reality is that sometimes, we and our values just don’t fit in certain workplaces. That’s where social awareness comes in.”

“If you want to bring more of your core self – your core values – to work, there are two things you can do. First, figure out what you care most about. One way to begin this process is to reflect on what you get excited about, what makes you proud. You can also spot values by examining what makes you uncomfortable or what makes you feel as if you are compromising in a way that does not feel good.”

“People want to feel that their work is linked to a larger, noble purpose… and that their company’s mission is meaningful. But often these missions don’t inspire people the way leaders hope they will. Sometimes they do the opposite. This is because a lofty, distant organizational mission can’t replace the need to live our values and have a personal impact on something that matters to us.”

Practical Ways to Find Purpose in Your Work

Human beings are inherently creative. We like to innovate, see new ways of doing things, and engage in activities that result in something that didn’t exist before.
For many years, we’ve known that we care more about the quality of our work when we see the fruits of our labor than when we’re told to move widgets from one part of a machine to another.
Doing meaningful work is rewarding in itself, and we are willing to do more work for less pay when we feel our work has some sort of purpose, no matter how small.”

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to join a group that is exploring a new idea or trying to solve a problem.
Find a way to track accomplishments .
Experiment with developing new processes to get work done.

“Don’t blame others for inefficient, broken work systems and processes. Don’t curse the proverbial “them” or wait for someone else to fix everything. They won’t. You can.”

Don’t be resigned to the way things have always been. Accept that most organizations are rife with old, worn out, and inefficient processes and pick some to fix.

Start small. You may not be able to fix an entire, convoluted budgeting process, but maybe you can change one report or form that will make your – and everyone else’s – life better.

“The very act of helping or supporting people can counteract the feeling that we’re toiling at a meaningless job. Because we’re so rarely working alone anymore, positively engaging with people may be the easiest way to express our values at work. Resonant relationships make us feel good and get more done because we are connected to and respectful of one another… People who give generously of themselves are actually more successful than those who sneak, connive, and take.”

Personal Reflection and Mindful Practice

What is my definition of happiness? Where did my beliefs about happiness come from? What role do family, religion or spirituality, philosophy of life, and experience play in how I define happiness?
Does my definition of happiness limit where, when and with whom I can experience joy, fun, and real fulfillment?
Is my way of viewing happiness serving me well? Why, or why not?
If I were to redefine what it takes to make me happy at work, what would my new definition be?

The Power of Hope

“Hope is the starting point for creating a future that is better than today. It encourages us to dig deep down inside ourselves to find our most unique talents and gifts and to use all of our resources to help us along the way. Whatever difficulties we face… the hope that tomorrow will be better is what helps us get up every morning.”

“Hope is at the heart of happiness at work.”

“when we’re angry or frightened, our thinking brain is essentially kidnapped and gagged by our limbic brain. In this state, we are guided by survival instincts. Our manager – or whoever is threatening us – begins to look suspiciously like a saber toothed tiger. We can to save ourselves and to hell with the consequences… Fortunately the exact opposite happens when we experience hope… When we are hopeful we are better able to access our knowledge and intellect, us our emotional intelligence, and rely on our intuition. We are more open and willing to consider new and different ways to reach our goals and have the emotional wherewithal to deal with challenges and problems.”

“… We can choose to view our memories through a positive lens or a negative lens… Obsessing about all the things that went wrong in the past and imagining it will all happen again today or tomorrow affects your ability to think, to process feelings, and to act in ways that will help rather than hurt you.”

Yes, You Do Need Friends at Work

“…We had our answer to the question: Sunglass Hut was doing well in part because of strong, warm relationships and a powerful sense of belonging in the company.”

“Having friends at work is critical. When we feel cared for – even loved, as one does in a friendship – and when we belong to a group that matters to us, we are generous with our time and talents because we’re committed to people, not just the job or the company.”

“… if employees suspect that someone doesn’t respect or care about them or their goals, they will likely become self-protective.”

“Love – the kind of love founded in companionship, caring and shared purpose – is the single most important factor influencing happiness in life… The love of family and friends is essential to our overall well-being. Similarly, caring relationships with colleagues at work enable us to thrive physically and psychologically. The positive emotions we feel in such relationships help us deal with stress, and we are even less likely to become depressed… Being in the company of friends helps us experience a deep and satisfying sense of belonging – another key element of happiness.”

Belonging: Our Tribe at Work

“From the time we lived in small, nomadic bands, we’ve needed one another to survive. We still do. There’s more to being part of a tribe, however, than finding food or protecting one another. We also have a deep human need to belong – to feel part of a group of people who share our values, hopes, and dreams… When we find ourselves in a team or organization that doesn’t want us or doesn’t accept us for who we are, we live in a constant state of physiological arousal: fears take over, we’re anxious, and we can even become depressed. Stress is constant and our physical and mental health suffer.”

“We thrive when we belong to groups where people care about, like, and respect us – and where we can give the same back in return. We want to feel that people we work with are our people, even if we come from different backgrounds and cultures.”

“Friendships don’t just form magically… to start, you can focus on trust, generosity, and fun… these help us to build warm, positive friendships in the workplace.”

“Make it a priority to get to know your colleagues. You can read about their cities, states, or countries.. or take time at the beginning of conferencealls to talk about nonwork topics.”

I Hate My Boss

“First, if your boss is indeed destructive, you need to defend yourself. You can start by creating psychological boundaries that protect you from emotional damage. If the situation is untenable, you should think about leaving.”

“Stop blaming and start creating a more positive relationship. When you respond with over the top negativity, you make the situation worse. People know when you don’t respect them and will often respond in kind.”

The Long March to Unhappiness

“Kala was caught in the boiling frog syndrome. When you’re in warm water and the heat’s turned up slowly, you don’t notice. You get used to it, whatever “it” is: being marginalized, unappreciated, treated unfairly, or taken for granted. The hot water feels normal, and we stay, even when it hurts… ‘I though I couldn’t do better. They devalued me, so I devalued myself.’… Kala’s problem is not unusual. It’s rarely one problem at work that leas us across the happiness line. More often, it’s a combination of many smaller challenges, seemingly logical compromises, and unending pressure. What kala did that’s less common, however, was to listen to her inner voice and bravely take a stand on what she wanted from her work experience.”

“overwork is a trap… it is not a good coping mechanism for stress. It makes things worse as we ignore our relationships, cut out fun, and eat and sleep poorly. “

Hearing the Wake Up Call

Physical wake up calls:

Eating too much or too little.
Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping too much.
Chronic Fatigue
Gastrointestinal issues
Headaches
Neck and back problems
Tightness in the chest
Too many colds and other seasonal illnesses
Onset or worsening of chronic health problems
Not smiling or laughing as much as you used to

Emotional wake up calls:

Seeing the glass half empty when you’re normally a half full kind of person
Seeing even small problems as insurmountable obstacles
Feeling sad more often than normal
Having difficulty snapping out of a bad mood
Feeling unappreciated or taken for granted
Feeling exhausted at the idea of doing something new and different
Believing that no matter what you do, it won’t be enough
Dreading your work
Getting frustrated easily or having a short fuse

Relational wake up calls:

Most conversations are terse and task-oriented
People say things like: “are you ok?” “Are you mad at me?” “you never listen to me anymore”
You are not interested in getting to know your coworkers
People in your life and at work are distancing themselves from you
People get quiet when you enter a room
You find yourself disagreeing and fighting with people about minor things
You are prone to criticize or blame others
You overreact when people disappoint you
You can’t remember when you last had a good time with coworkers – or anyone else.

Four Stages of the Journey from Despair and Resignation to Happiness

Stage One: Get Me the Hell Out of Here
Emotional self-awareness: Allow yourself to feel, really feel, those primal emotions.
Emotional self-control: Even if you think it might be time to leave, it’s a mistake to make decisions in amygdala hijack, when our limbic brain – not our rational brain – is calling the shots.
Positive outlook: When we choose optimism over pessimism, the parts of our nervous system that are involved in the stress response begin to lose power and we’re able to remain calm, energized, and focused

Stage Two: Figure Out What You Like and Hold Steady, Even When It’s Tough
“You’ve got to like what you do. You’ve got to find meaning in it and you have to feel that what you do will make a difference.”

Stage Three: Honestly Assess Your Work Situation
What’s really going on in your organization? Is the culture as powerful and toxic as you think it is? Are there any redeeming values that you can focus on? There usually are, and people have a hard time fighting you if you lead with something inspiring about the company, its noble purpose, and its values.

The Basic lesson here is that if we want to assess our work situation fairly, we have to let go of the habitual ways we view people and our work experience.

Stage Four: Run Toward the Future, Not Away From the Past
Sometimes running away is the right thing to do, but it’s better – much better – to run toward something… It’s important to understand that when you’ve heard a wake up call, you need to engage optimism and commit to a positive outlook about the future.

For intentional change to work, you also need to tap into confidence and self-efficacy. Trust yourself: if you’ve heard the call, and if you commit to moving toward a dream rather than running away, you are ready to craft a personal vision and a plan to get there.

Sharing Happiness at Work

“Cultivating happiness at work is a deliberate, conscious act. You now know what it takes: finding and living your purpose, focusing passionately on your future, and
building meaningful friendships.”

“…Create a resonant microculture on your team. A resonant microculture is marked by a powerful and positive emotional climate as well as shared purpose, hope, vision, and norms that support happiness and success. Everyone is supported to work hard and work smart, while also feeling good about themselves and their accomplishments… Take charge of the emotional climate of your team, commit to a shared purpose and vision, and create emotionally intelligent norms to support healthy ways of working together.”

“… Throughout his career, Roberto has worked to humanize his organizations, making it possible for people to learn, grow, and thrive… One of the ways Roberto has brought this to life has been to focus on culture, something he knows to be one of the most important drivers of individual and collective success… Unfortunately, too many of our organizations’ cultures do not help us to accomplish our goals, much less be happy. They are toxic: they stifle talent, hijack success, and make us miserable.”

Signs of Toxic Cultures:

Intense pressure to get short-term results
Taboos against speaking up to power
Us versus them mentality
Dysfunctional competition
Lots of talk about values but not enough action
Lack of clarity around a vision
Disrespect
Lack of appreciation
Pessimism
Incivility and hurtfulness tolerated or even encouraged
Inequity, absence of meritocracy, and injustice

Signs of Resonant Cultures:

A sense of unity around a noble purpose
Overt commitment to virtues and values like honesty, forgiveness, gratitude, wisdom, and love
A clear, inspiring, and shared vision of the future
Generosity of time, talent, and resources
Taboos against hurtful treatment of others, dishonesty, and cynicism
Respect for the individual’s right to grow and develop
Celebration of differences
Compassion and humane treatment of everyone in good times and bad
Fairness and justice
Integrity
Fun

“In Primal Leadership… ‘great leaders move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us… Great leaders are awake, aware, and attuned to themselves, to others, and to the world around them. They commit to their beliefs, stand strong in their values, and live full, passionate lives.’.. Today each and every one of us must be a resonant leader.”

Create a resonant microculture, shape your team’s emotional reality, seek common purpose, nurture hope and your team’s shared vision.

Commit to Emotionally Intelligent Team Norms

Seek to understand each other’s viewpoints and feelings
Actively care for people
Respect and accept people for who they are
Connect with people around higher purpose and dreams
Engage in open, honest dialogue
Don’t shy away from conflict, but don’t harm people or relationships
Be reliable and consistent to build trust
Take the lead and also be a good follower
Celebrate success
Adopt norms that support a sense of belonging

TL;DR
Life is too short to be unhappy at work.
Free yourself from the happiness traps that keep you miserable.

Be authentically yourself and celebrate others for who they are
Live the virtues and values that support purpose, hope and friendships
attend to and honor your feelings
Celebrate and suffer together
Be calm
Be brave.
Fight Oppression
Break the rules about overwork; just don’t do it anymore
be compassionate with yourself and others
Love yourself and find something to love and honor in everyone
Have fun